I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
