So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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