I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
