We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
