Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
