...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
