yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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