I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
