Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
