I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
