Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
sex in a hospital.. check
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize