All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
