ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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