Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
