so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
