check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
