I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
