True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Randomize
