I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
