Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
