i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
