I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize