I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
