If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
