The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
