he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I need to sanitize my soul.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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