Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
