Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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