Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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