Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
