I love black thongs
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize