so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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