Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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