um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
