im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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