my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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