Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
