U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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