We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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