I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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