we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
