he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
