just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
that's an acceptable place to lick
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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