Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
