come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Randomize
