eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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