I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
