I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I had to cum in my sink.
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