New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
