you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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