There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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