why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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