Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
