I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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