What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
