Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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