so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
