I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
