There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize