She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
