you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
