3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
