I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
